Wow, volume 001 was during the Lunar eclipse. Here we are, the day after the Solar eclipse. It's Moon Day, and I am calm. Yes, as a moody Cancer sun and Gemini moon, today, I am calm. This eclipse has me calm, feeling shifted, and ready to dive deeper inward.

I find myself listening to my jazz playlist again while I write 002 of Living in Layers. Jazz has become a part of my writing routine, and I am grateful for it. Historically, I would listen to classical music, but nowadays, I can only listen to classical while I drive.

It's like my ears only want to hear slow, calm music. This morning, 2 minutes after I woke up, my husband began his morning playlist of punk rock, and I was immediately like, "My brain has not woken up yet, I can't. Please don't be mad at me. I just woke up, and I just cannot process that right now." He graciously turned it off.

*sidenote, yes, my husband is a black man. Lol. In this house, we love a myriad of music genres, and 90s punk rock is among our favs.

In volume 001, I was in my follicular phase. Today I am in the menstruation phase. For anyone who might feel like that is TMI, I'm choosing to share this for myself and others because those with vagina's thought patterns are different during each phase. The luteal phase is the one phase that makes me want to throw everything against the wall and try again in about ten days.

Therefore, here, in the middle of the menstruation phase, let's see how calm/positive/balanced I remain while getting through this.

It's always mid-way through that I begin to feel like myself again and can revisit my projects without giving them the side-eye or the disgusted Kerry Washington/Lil' Baby face combo.

If you are someone with a vagina and it happens to move through all four phases, document how you feel during each one. Become more aware of your thought patterns because they matter. Once I was able to connect the dots of my luteal phase to my hormones plunging into the ground, and as a result, I wanted to delete everything I've ever created, I was better able to handle my emotions.

Now, when I feel like none of my work has been good enough, I check what phase I'm in, and I shake my head and smile, then I do something to distract myself from actually pressing delete.

~

Since the last time we were here, I completed a book, my kid became interested in student council, I've gotten REALLY GOOD at Yu-Gi-Oh, and I've gotten a new project for my media business.

Recent Read: "Monday's Not Coming" by Tiffany D. Jackson

I was not ready. It's a young adult mystery thriller, and wow, it punched me in the face. And I would read it again. If you like an easy read with a few plot twists involving teenagers, pick this one up.

I’m currently reading the third and final installment of Jane Allen’s Black Girls Must Die Exhausted series: “Black Girls Must Have It All”

It’s about a woman named Tabitha juggling her career, a new baby, and her on-again, off-again relationship. So far, it’s a journey of navigating motherhood and rewriting what new mothers think is important in their lives. I’m about halfway through and want to be done by next week. I already have my next two books lined up, but I’ll share those in the next volume.

~

When I was in elementary school, there weren’t many clubs or programs I could join. The school I went to was a pretty basic christian private school where they just had school and sports. We didn’t have any student council or debate teams, etc. It wasn’t until I got to attend a public high school that I was introduced to the variety of extracurricular activities that I could join.

My daughter is fortunate to attend a public school where they have a variety of clubs, sports, and programs kids can participate in. She came home the other day with a permission slip for the student council. I immediately thought, ‘How much involvement from me will this require?’ I know. I know. Not the best first thought. But I was in the luteal phase and all I wanted to do was go to sleep lol.

Once I had more information and explained to her the possible responsibilities she would have by joining, I signed the permission slip. Her class will be voting this week, and we worked with her on her speech over the weekend. Ms. Ma’am was just born, and now we’re talking about the student council. I understand what parents mean when they say “it goes fast.”

We discussed the possibility of her not being voted in, and I explained that it’s absolutely fine if someone else receives more votes than her. She can be disappointed, but not be angry with her classmates. There are 16 of them, and only two can be in the student council.

I keep having to remind myself that I’m used to disappointment; she’s not. And as much as I want to ease any blow of disappointment, I have to accept that she has to experience it. It is an important part of growing up. A healthy part of becoming an adult is knowing how to handle disappointment and rejection.

I’ll report back after all the votes are in.

~

Over the past few months, if not a year by now, my husband taught me how to play Yu-Gi-Oh. Yes, the kids of the 90s card game. I must say, I’m above average when it comes to playing. I understand how the cards in my deck work together, and it is even a great way to enhance my intuition.

*sidenote: I’m usually really good at anything I learn. My husband says all the time, “Anything I teach you, you master and end up beating me at.” Listen…. I can’t help it lol.

As someone who intentionally does puzzles with my spirit team, Yu-Gi-Oh has been added to the list of activities that allow me to hear and listen to my spirit guides while playing. Yes, Spirit be sitting right there telling me which moves to make and which to avoid. When I listen and not second-guess myself, I win every time.

This is also a way that we nurture our friendship. I enjoy having my personal hobbies, but joint hobbies are sooooo nice. My husband is my best friend, and it has been our friendship that has anchored our romantic relationship when it needed to weather a storm.

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Once Mercury retrograde was over, I signed a new contract to create a logo + website for an existing client. It was something I put on my September business goals list, and I am grateful it became a reality. These are the times when I have to remind myself of the importance of proof of attraction. We find ourselves wanting something to happen, but rarely pausing to enjoy the fact that it happened before we move on to the next request.

Nowadays, I slow down and express gratitude for the physical proof of the thing being here and tangible. It builds confidence in the universe and in myself.

We co-create our reality with the universe, and it is imperative to notice when the shit you’ve been manifesting comes to fruition.

~

I created a new Instagram account today. I can hear the sigh all the way over here. Or maybe I’m sighing for you. If I had it my way, I would’ve just deleted my current one and been done with it, but I actually enjoy threads. That is now the only reason I have an Instagram account. I have no desire to post pictures, reels, stories, etc. on there, but I do enjoy the conversation on threads. My compromise to curb the desire to completely delete was to create a new IG account, create a new Threads account, put the new IG on private, and just communicate from the new Threads account.

I’m in a phase where I don’t want to see what everybody else is doing who I actually know in real life, if we don’t actually speak in real life.

Idk. I think it’s my way of going into hermit mode without the full commitment. For the duration of the year, I want to write, read, and communicate on threads…. dassit.

~

Speaking of writing, I’m participating in BossyBruja’s autumnal writing challenge. She’s challenged those who would like to join to write every day in autumn. So far, I began over the weekend, and today (Monday) is the official fall equinox. This volume counts as my writing for the day, but I’ll probably write in my journal too.

There are no rules to what you can write about, just that you write, handwritten or electronically. I’ve chosen to touch all mediums, including both Substacks, short stories, and journaling.

Although we’re only 3 days in, my journaling has gotten deeper. I’ve been asking myself questions about my character, what I want this next season to look like, and how I want to show up in my relationships.

Writing prevents oversharing.

Let me say that again, writing prevents oversharing.

Do you ever find yourself oversharing? Or that the thoughts are very loud?

Write that shit down.

Let it out. Don’t call someone to dump on them. Write it down.

Because I promise you, that notebook will be available for you as a listening ear when everyone else is busy.

~

My desire for this fall is to read and write more than I ever have, to settle into the upgraded version of myself and strengthen my level of self-acceptance.

Until next time.

-Ray.